1. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the whole concept of what the essay is going to be about. Yes, the first sentence is relevant but, not an attention grabber.
2. " In Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll I found a relationship between Sigmund Freud's Psychosexual Latency stage and Alice, the main character of the story." I believe that it's not the most intresting sentence but it goes straight to say what the essay is going to be about in a very clear manner.
3. No, I dont believe I made the sub points as clear as of what the whole essay is going to be about. I just gave a brief explanation of the main point.
4. I found that I don't use a diversity of words and have a lot of repetition. I found that I don't proofread my work enough and dthere are a lot of the same words being used more than once in a sentence which makes the sentence difficult to read and understand clearly.
5. I clearly state whose ideas and information I'm using but i don't exactly quote them.
6. The greatest strength of this paper is that is a strong thesis to argue.
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